Being the good Midwest girl that I am, I assumed I would go to college, meet a guy, get a ring by the proverbial spring, and marry in the months following graduation.
That didn't happen during my undergraduate years and since I have done the majority of my graduate school online, the likelihood of meeting somebody in these years is pretty slim too.
I would be lying if I said I haven't struggled in coming to terms with my singleness, but I can truthfully say that by the grace of God I have arrived at a place of comfort and acceptance.
The church can be a very harsh place for singles and I wish so desperately it wasn't that way. I know I am not the first person to make this comment, nor am I the first person to feel this way, but it is the truth-- maybe even moreso for women than for men. In too many eyes, a Christian is not truly an adult until he or she is married with the intention of children on the way. As single adults, we are quickly lumped with the college students because they theoretically haven't started their lives either because they are not yet married and not yet with jobs. I can attest, though, that I am in a much different place at 26 than I was at 21. Even if I don't act like it all of the time.
I have spent far too much of my twenties hurt and confused as to what my position is in the church and the faith as a single woman with no prospects on the horizon. It has only been in the last couple of months, and even this last week in entirely complete disclosure, that God has really helped me reconcile some of my thoughts and feelings.
Will I get married some day? I don't know. Is it the desire of my heart to get married? Yes. Am I in a unique place in life as a single woman? Most definitely.
I take comfort in the knowledge that singleness is a gift from God (1 Cor. 7:7) and God does not give bad gifts. Likewise, both singleness and marriage portray the gospel. One is not better than the other, although we all too often feel inferior as singles. After all, singleness portrays the Christian's identity in Christ (Isaiah 54, John 3, Revelation 19) as well as the Christian's eternal identification with the church (Genesis 2:18). My gift of singleness may last for a season or it may last for my earthly life. Either is just fine with me because marriage itself is only temporary-- once we pass from this life into the next, we will be united to Christ (Matt. 22:30).
Take heart, my dear sisters. The single journey can be a tough one, but, like marriage, it is a worthwhile one that garners its own unique heavenly reward.
May your day be blessed.
Soli deo gloria.
"God does not give bad gifts". That's a truth worth holding onto in many season of life. It is sad that the church doesn't seem to value singleness as it should--especially given that Paul himself was single and obviously preferred the single life to the married one, given his comments to the effect of "it would be great if everyone liked being single the way I do, but since you don't, it's best to get married and here's the rules for Godly marriage..."
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