Today marks four months in Thailand.
July 16 seems like forever ago. But I also cannot believe
the month of December is only two weeks away.
It turns out that making an international move will cause
one to realize how much he or she does not actually have it all together, whatever that proverbial it may be.
So here I am, living in a city of 15 million, allowing
myself to get lost as much as I can. I also have been staying busy with the
things that I really haven’t needed to be occupying my time but have been, regardless. At
this specific moment in time, I have three letters of recommendation to write, about
four college application essays to critique, a revised thesis write-up to
submit, a revised thesis write-up that needs to be developed into a formal
proposal, and a whole pile of second quarter papers that need to be graded and
submitted before grades are due on Wednesday.
At the same time, I have stepped away from quite a bit of
media. I still spend more time stalking Facebook and reading blogs than I
should, but I am pretty unplugged otherwise. Instead, I feel like I’ve been letting the
last three years of life slough away. I wouldn’t trade the last three years for
anything, but they were hard. As the saying goes, I experienced some of my highest highs
as well as my lowest lows.
If only the lows weren’t quite so dark and heavy. Those
are the hardest to completely shed.
But God is good and gracious, even when I am not. As much as
I would love to say that I have spent the last sevenish weeks in Bible study and prayer, that wouldn’t be true. I have been
blessed with a church where I show up each Sunday and receive the teaching. I
am blessed to work for employers who begin each morning with a spiritual
devotion. I have spent some time in Bible study and prayer, but not as much as
I would like to think.
I have spent a lot of time just being and thinking and
learning. I have been learning about my new school, my new job, my new students, my new friends, my new country, and myself.
My time has not all been wisely spent, but the time away has been much needed.
The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not be in [lack for God is my perfect sustenance]. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside [waters of rest], he restores my soul. Psalm 23:1-2 [Emphasis mine]
I took this picture on a riverboat tour at a floating market outside of Bangkok. I visited on Friday of my first week of orientation and it was the first time I looked around and thought to myself "Hey, I'm really in Thailand!" I love the bright flowers in contrast to the weathered shack. Beauty in the simplicity of existence.
