"Do the Right Thing"

I have spent the last 48-ish hours helping 150+ high school students make sense of the political chaos that now surrounds us. I talked with all six of my classes about the results of the election and I prefaced each talk with I am not here to tell you what to think. I also told them I would not share who got my vote (although I did admit to voting mainstream), I would not comment on my thoughts of Trump as president, and I felt Hillary conceded the presidential race in a very classy manner.

We live in North Dakota, a solidly red state, but that does not mean we unquestioningly follow the doctrine of a certain political party. I am not here to say I voted red and I am not here to say I voted blue. I will say that I chose to cast my vote as I did because I researched, discussed, and agonized over how to make the best use out of the political voice that was given to me.

What ensued in all six of my classes was any number of questions, some of genuine wonder, some of well-intended misunderstanding, and some with no other purpose than to just stir the pot. In one of my senior classes, a young man, who has been vocally pro-Trump for the entirety of the school year, commented that he couldn't believe a Hillary supporter was standing at a protest holding a sign that said "Do the right thing!" He couldn't believe how somebody could hold such a sign in that particular circumstance. My heart skipped a beat and I honestly had tears come to my eyes because I was sitting at the front of a room of completely silent high school seniors, some of whom voted in this election, looking at me for a comment and reaction. I looked this young man straight in the eye and said,

"You sure as hell* better do the right thing."

I continued with some form of "Regardless of who you voted for or who you desired to win, you have the responsibility as a decent, contributing human being to do the right thing in every situation life places before you. Your political affiliation cannot, under any circumstance ever in your life, dictate your decency as a human being. You owe it to yourself and to those around you to do the little things each day to make this country the best it can be and, in turn, the world the best place that it can be. I would fail you as a teacher and as a fellow citizen if I did not expect that best from myself and each one of you simply because an election may not have panned out as you desired."

I am not proud of myself for using such language, but I was so caught off guard. I am still sad, and at the same time I still feel the bubbles of anger in the pit of my stomach, that I have 17 and 18 year old young men and women who are processing this election in terms of "right and wrong," "good and bad," and "me versus you." That is exactly where our country is going to fall. As a Christian, as a teacher, as a female, as a white person-- I now feel a greater responsibility than ever before to cultivate a next generation who is not only competent, but caring. And wise, gracious, aware, discerning, responsible, and all those other good qualities we want in our fellow citizens.

I really don't even know how to end this post. I just keep chewing on this conversation and so many of the others I had with my students these last two days. I feel a greater responsibility to live my life with even more intention because (my relatively) little ones are watching. Granted, the "right thing" may look different for each of us at different points in time, but human decency is pretty much always the same. If we don't want to have this same mess of division and accusation in four years, that change needs to start now.

**Now, part of the beauty of teaching seniors is that they really are young adults and sometimes the language reflects the more mature age (even though the seniors aren't as mature as they think). While this was not my finest moment as a teacher, I have come to understand it may be one of my most effective.

A Midweek Brain Dump

It's been a month since my last post and I feel like it's been only a couple of weeks!

I am sad to be missing Blogtember this year. I followed it for a couple of years before I participated in its entirety last year. I had every intention of joining in this year, but it just hasn't happened. I've been working really hard, for once in my life, to let myself go more slowly than usual. And, for right now, that means no Blogtember. However, I am going to make the effort to start blogging once each week. First, I miss sitting down and having some "fun" writing time and, secondly, blogging is just a fun way of connecting with people. And, really, third, the English writer part of my loves having a journal to look back on and, in a culture of oversharing, why not make my journal public for the entire world to see, right?

Part of letting myself go slower than usual is choosing to focus on doing a couple of big things well and then make time for a few smaller things as time allows. My current graduate program (which I don't think I have ever actually talked about) has been much more challenging than I anticipated and I have not risen to the challenge on all occasions. This semester I am taking a class on literary criticism and, so far, I am really enjoying it. Lit crit was one of my favorite classes as an undergrad and I attributed it largely to my professor. Whether or not it was entirely him, I am really enjoying my second go at this class as well. Getting my Master's degree in English was something I never anticipated doing, but I am grateful for the opportunity as it has presented itself!

Maybe it's the fact I have started my sixth year of teaching and have finally figured things out a little bit, maybe is the nonconventional class schedule that actually gives me time away from students during the day (I promise that's not as bad as it sounds), or maybe I'm just riding a stroke of luck, but I am not feeling entirely overwhelmed by my job at the beginning of this school year. Things are not perfect by any means at all-- heck, I'm already dreadfully behind in grading in two of my classes and I basically flew by the seat of my pants this last week as (virtually) every free (and not-so-free) moment from Wednesday to Friday was filled with meetings of one sort or another.

After I stepped off the plane from Dallas, post-Poland, this summer, I was of the mindset that the next time I stepped on a plane better not be in the next decade. However, I have made it about two months before the Wanderlust and desire to "Go" has reared its beautiful head again. I fly to Pittsburgh next month for a work conference, so I'll get my airplane fix. But that won't satiate the desire to "go!" Although I did "go" to Grand Forks this past weekend to celebrate Kelly's birthday! Currently inter-continental travel destinations include Seattle and Banff National Park. Current global destinations include Iceland, Sweden, and back to Thailand. What I wouldn't do for some passionfruit, pad thai, and murgh makhani right now.

May your week be blessed!

A Dizzying Start to the Year

I remember one summer, I think I was a third grader or so, all of my older cousins came to North Dakota from Pennsylvania and we descended upon my grandma's hamlet of 100 (I think our family singlehandedly increased the town population by 25% the week we were there) where we spent so much time at the local playground. My older Pennsylvania cousins, who all happen to be male, were able to spin the merry-go-round the fastest I had ever experienced. All of my other cousins were eating it up and I wanted so much to enjoy what was going on, but I couldn't handle it. I hated it. The feeling of my head spinning and not knowing where my center of gravity had gone made me want to go home to grandma's and just read a book. You know, once the words made themselves still on the page and all. But I knew mom would send me back to the playground to play with everybody else so I tried to make the most of it, but I just couldn't.

All that to say, I feel like I am finally off the proverbial merry-go-round that was Thailand and now I'm back in the States waiting for my head to stop spinning.

As I alluded to at the beginning of the year, I was not sad to see 2015 go. We are almost done with 2016 and I have mixed feelings on the year. But, as a teacher, my "actual" year is just kicking off. I have switched over the agenda pages for the next twelve months and my fresh start in life is here. Maybe that's why this week really had me feeling so much joy and sorrow at the same time. I had a great first week at my new school, but I found myself missing the school in BKK. I full disclosure, I feel like I pretty much failed at my school in Thailand. I never felt like I was really on top of things and I expected much more of myself than what I was able to give or produce. I want to be clear, though, that I do not believe in any way that my moving to BKK was a mistake. I still stand by that it was 100% God's will at that point in my life. I just moved there to be a teacher and a not very good teacher is what I ended up being. It's a tough pill to swallow.

At the beginning of my own personal "teacher" year, I am at a place to start afresh. I talked to my mom this weekend and told her how, honestly, I wasn't excited to be teaching again. But (and I didn't tell her this part) when I find myself around students, I know it's right where I am supposed to be. I can't imagine myself doing anything other than teaching. Even when I think about what I want to do after my high school teaching career, I find myself considering adult education, preservice teacher education, third-world education, and the like. At my heart is a desire to teach. My purpose in life is to equip. But, right now, my self-confidence is shaken and, honestly, I'm a little (lot) bit scared. What if I fail as a teacher at my new school? I know not every day is going to be perfect and I expect to feel failure as I go through the school year, but what if I walk away at the end of this school year and my proverbial head is still spinning?

Much of my identity is as a teacher and, as a result, I am a little shaken in who I am. I did a lot of coping in Thailand, much of it quite unhealthy and I now have amends to make as a result. Right now I am feeling the resolve to buck up and make sure things end up better this time around, but I also find myself considering what I will do if some of the mistakes I have made cannot be rectified. What does that mean for the future? So many thoughts swirl through my head and so many feelings weave their ways in and out of my heart. I know I can't do everything at once, but working to do little bits at a time to get my overall self back in order is exhausting and painful.

When people ask how this first week back to school was, I smile and say all was fun and fine. After all, I got mistaken for a high school student again, and seeing as this summer was my 10 year reunion, I'll take it! Truthfully, this first week back was bittersweet and it was all my own doing.

I have no resolution in the way of either new year "resolution" or make things better "resolution" at this point. My only seeming resolution is to step away from teaching, but that's not an option right now. I have never been one to quit when things have gotten hard (even though I feel like I quit Thailand) and part of me is, honestly, looking forward to the grit of this upcoming semester. I want to dig in and prove to myself that I can do this teaching thing. This grad school thing. This running/health thing. This life thing.

But at this point, I need my head to stop spinning. It's almost there and then I'll figure out in which direction I need to take the first step and I'll go from there. One step at a time, with as many tears shed as necessary along the way.

Rectifying mistakes and shortcomings also means extending grace.

Even if I-myself- is the hardest person to whom I can give grace.

I Have Officially Arrived...

...to adulthood. Per my own determination. No official Olympic ruling on this one.

It's taken 28 years (my half birthday is on Monday but I know nobody's counting) but I feel like I have finally feel like I have reached the ever mythical status of "adult" whatever that actually means.

I am in a new town, in a new apartment, three-fourths through new teacher orientation in a new district for a new school, and, for the first time in my life, I have no forward trajectory in mind.

In high school, my trajectory was college. From college, my trajectory was a job. I always new my first job was a stepping stone, so the trajectory was always the next job which turned in to Thailand. The trajectory in Thailand was always back to the States and now here I am.

I still refuse to say that I am settled or rooted because I know that's not the case. But, for the first time in a long time, my trajectory switch is flipped to off. It's an odd feeling, but I'm rather digging it, as the hippies say. This new "off setting" has given me the peace and freedom to feel like I can breathe.

As I have been introducing myself to teaching colleagues and administrators these last couple days, I find myself saying something along the lines of "Hi! My name is Aubrey. I'm a senior English teacher at (insert school name here) and I AM FINALLY A REAL ADULT!" Okay, so I don't actually introduce myself as a real adult, but, for the first time in my life, I feel like I have made it. I really don't know why it has taken me so long so feel like I'm adult, but I'm finally there.

As part of my newfound adult-hood, I have been working to establish a new routine of productive habits and practices. I am constantly reminding myself that I don't have to do everything at once. That habits and procedures take time to establish and failure is inevitable. But since I'm an adult now and all and have finally gleaned this mature understanding of life I figure things should still be easier than what they were before. Cough. #Right?

Lest you think I'm becoming some sort of pretentious post-adolescent, you should know I had macaroni and cheese with hotdogs for supper. The heart wants what the heart wants.

Five Friday Things: Adulting, Healing, School, Tattoos, and Habits

One. If anyone say inside my life right now, my adult card would be immediately revoked. I'm just going to own up to that now. My apartment is a disaster, I have no idea where my extra sunglasses are, my kitchen is a mess, this blog is sorely lacking, and I'm pretty sure my classroom is just a couple of seconds from imploding upon itself.

Two. I am still peeling from a sunburn that is almost three weeks old and how I'm healing from a motorbike wipe out. I don't know where all of this skin is coming from, but I'm pretty sure I am on my sixth new layer of skin.

Three. We are already three weeks into the 4th quarter! This school year has positively flown by which is so bittersweet. I am grateful for the prospect of summer vacation, but this has been one of my best groups of students in the five years I have been teaching. I will really miss them. (But please don't tell them that.)

Four. I am really itching for a new tattoo. I have in mind what I want, now I just need to get it.

Five. I am really feeling this new crossroads in my life. I am working to finish up well in Thailand, but the struggle is real. I'm trying to set myself up to continue in the States positive habits that I have developed here and am also trying to get myself to a place to be able to resolve some bad habits I have fallen into here. Here's to making the most of the next six weeks!

A. Liz Adventures/Carolina Charm

Hello! Happiness/The Good Life Blog

The Farmer's Wife/September Farm

A Little Bit of Everything

Grace and Love/Momfessionals

A Brain Dump to Begin the Week

...This has been the longest two week stretch ever. It started with an inservice day two weeks ago and has since contained two basketball tournaments, two trips including a flight and a bus trip, as well as my normal loads of teaching and grad school. Part of the reason the two weeks have seemed so long is that I inherited the girls' basketball team with about 30 hours' notice and have been, all of the sudden, going full blast with them on top of everything else. I'm not even going to pretend to be on track with anything any more. I'm just straight up behind on it all.

...That being said, I have officially made my varsity coaching debut in basketball. I coached a tournament last weekend where we finished third and this past weekend we took fifth in another tournament. Funny story-- being good sports actually cost us a chance to play for the championship. We finished third in our pool after losing a tie breaker by 4 points (as in 2 baskets). We played two teams we could have blown out by 40 to 50 points. We actually held one of those to a complete shut out, 32 to 0. I am a firm believer that no game needs to be won by more than 20 points, maybe 30 points playing young players, so I took active measures to stop my team from being that bully team. Well, we shot ourselves in the foot the first game against our #1 pool team when we just did not show up to play and lost by 30 points. We then blew out the next two teams, including the shut out, and then putzed around and ended up tying with a team we would beat 7 times out of 10 any other day. We lost the tie breaker to the #2 seed because they put up 4 more points against opponents than we did. And we could have easily posted another 50 points if I had let my team and/or we had shown up to play. I have no regrets about not posting a bigger score or being beaten when we didn't earn the victory anyhow. But I am snarkily amused the #5 team in the tournament should have been at least the #2 team and possibly the champion (I think we'd go 50/50 with the top team if we played well) just because they were good sports. What's the lesson learned? Play hard in every game. Never be the bully. And always wash your hands after using the bathroom. That's just common sense.

...I wouldn't go as far as to say that I am home sick, but I have really been missing my family back in the States. I blame it on the chance to coach the varsity basketball team. It is something that I could actively share with them and they could be around to see. Rehashing the game through text is just not the same as sitting down to talk things through in person. And sharing about victories with a 13-hour time difference is just not the same because it's usually a good 8 or 9 hours before I hear back from anybody. But this is just a good chance to remember the opportunity I have been given to improve myself while investing in students' lives through a game I love. I am also being reminded of all of the people who have chosen to invest in me through basketball throughout the years and I continue to push myself to make them proud. Always pay it forward.

...We leave for our annual school service trip a week from today and I am looking forward to it. We will be going to serve some Karen people in western Thailand, literally within walking distance of the Thailand-Myanmar border. I enjoy the opportunity to work with students outside the walls of the classroom to complete meaningful work by their own hands and efforts. Some kids love it, some kids hate it, but all kids always walk away changed regardless.

...With everything going on, I am continually reminded to live with grace, truth, and perseverance because this is the only life I will be given and it is my real life. I keep reminding myself:

(via)

I know this is meant for parents, but my students are who God has given me to invest in right now so they "my children" for this season of life. And for most of these students, I will have them for only one year so I must make the most of the opportunity that has been given me.

Soli deo gloria.

Glory to God alone.

Second Chance Book Club, January: The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks-- Rebecca Skloot

Hi. It’s me. And I’m 48 hours late. In my small defense, I ended up on an emergency-of-sorts work trip and at a hotel with extremely limited internet access. So limited that I could connect but not even Twitter would load. So I spent a weekend living in 1998 and falling behind in exactly everything in life. I’m finally 65% caught up on grad school, about -110% caught up on high school (I worked so hard today and still ended up farther behind than when I started), and I am counting myself 75% behind on blogging since I have three different posts bouncing around in my head and exactly zero written to completion.

All that to say, I’m sorry to get book club off to a late start this year. I know things don’t look so promising based on last year’s performance, but last week just ate. me. alive. That's all behind me now and I’m excited to finally get this show on the road and talk shop with you!

Look, I even have my iced Americano with me so you know this is legit. And don’t judge me for typing in Microsoft Word first. My computer is (was) failing to connect to the internet at the coffee shop but I will not be defeated. #Commitment #Whateverthecost So let's do this thing-- The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks by Rebecca Skloot.

(via)

1. Did you like the book? Was it what you were expecting or hoping for? Why or why not? As I admitted before, I had pregamed this book a couple of years ago so I had a little idea of what I would be reading. However, what I didn’t realize was the two parallel story lines that would co-exist throughout the book. Overall, I appreciated the intertwining of the personal Lacks story with the scientific research and development so, yes, I did like the book. I found myself constantly thinking about how much I would love to use this book in my classroom, but my current school is too conservative for some of the content. The issues raised about medical ethics, healthcare, poverty, race, etc. would be fascinating to work through with high schoolers as many students are just starting to form their own opinions on such things at this stage of their lives and this book offers valuable insight into such a life-changing discovery that still affects us in so many ways today.

2. What did you think of the style of the book? Skloot wrote a nonfiction piece that read as a piece of narrative fiction. Did you like that? Why or why not? At this point in my life, I really appreciated the narrative tone of this book. I read so much academic nonfiction for my job and graduate school that I enjoyed getting lost in a book that read like fiction but was actually nonfiction. I just finished another book of the same style, Brain on Fire, and I highly recommend checking it out—I finished it in four days!

3. Of the two concurrent storylines in the book, did you find yourself favoring one over the other?Going into the book, I had no idea that the scientific research storyline even existed. Overall, I enjoyed the humanistic storyline of the Lacks more, but I really do appreciate the insight and development brought on by the more objective research. While I do not necessarily agree with the way Henrietta Lacks’ situation was handled, the research storyline helped me to see and understand how events were able to unfold as they did and why the doctors felt they were justified to act as they did. I found the Lacks family to be very deep and complex, even if they may not appear as such on the surface. Their issues of poverty and lacking education really gave life and reality to many issues Americans have faced in the past and some are still facing today, especially with the issues of Common Core and Obamacare at the forefront of our nation.

4. Who was your favorite character and/or to whom did you find yourself most attached? My favorite character had to be Henrietta’s daughter Deborah. As much as I attached to Henrietta at the beginning of the book, I found myself enjoying Deborah even more as the story unfolded. Her story is so deep and complex and truly reflects the situation of somebody who is poor and uneducated in life. Perhaps I was reading this too much from a teacher's perspective, but I found myself fascinated with all of the possibilities to help my students see life from somebody else's point of view-- especially since I work in a school with quite affluent families who will send their children to the top universities in the world. For these kids, a lack of education means having to attend a state school instead of a private college... not being unaware of what a cell is. Furthermore, I just loved Deborah's spirit and spunk. Maybe I identified with her after having walked along my dad on his own extensive journey to recovery, but I remember the feelings of wanting to do the best by him and understand as much as I was able in his complex medical journey.

5. What are your final reactions after reading the book? So many issues were raised and so many ideas were presented. How do you feel as you walk away from the book? I don't have any super strong reactions other than I am just very glad I read the book. I am grateful for the journey into somebody else's life and I feel convicted, once again, to recognize how blessed I really am. I am grateful for all of the advances in medical research, but they truly did come at a price. A few cells may not seem like much to some, but look at the snowball these few cells caused. I walked away from this book challenged and I think that's the best feeling to have.

I hope you enjoyed the book as well! Thank you for joining me this month!

PS-I look forward to sharing Me Before You by Jojo Moyes with you in February. Please come back on February 18 for the questions!

Reflections Thus Far

I find myself daydreaming of 2016. What a fresh start the new year will bring. I know the new year will have its hurts and challenges and struggles all the same, but it also brings with it newness, beginning, and potential. I am choosing to focus on the latter right now.

I think this will be the first summer since 2010-ish that I will not have a wedding of a close friend or sibling. But I know of three babies due in the new year. Crazy how babies tend to follow weddings, no? Instead of getting married myself, I will keep scouring Pinterest for pictures of dogs and overly expensive handbags, thankyouverymuch, while also looking forward to snuggling those little babes and thinking of ways to spoil them without upsetting their parents too much.

But all this looking ahead to the future has me thinking about the past. I think part of what has made this last year so difficult is, for the first time, I finally feel like I am in "real life." In 2011, I was going through a transition every couple of months and had yet to settle in to anything. In 2015, I am in my fifth year of teaching, I have my own apartment with accompanying bills, and I eat sweet potato chips and hummus for supper if I want to. I am not in a honeymoon phase in life-- this is my life.

Life is broken and beautiful and messy and simple, but rarely is it ever one thing at a time. I have truly relished trying to make the most of this December and I have enjoyed it so much. I'm looking forward to seeing family at the end of the week although I can hardly wrap my mind around such. Contrary to my initial plans, I have not been back to the airport since I landed in July. But, like many things, I am really hoping to fix my lack of travel in this upcoming year. I'm currently investigating the likes of Taiwan, Malaysia, Singapore, Vietnam, and maybe a touch of Europe as well.

I am also finding some life in my work again. Granted, I am at an easier point of the semester, but I am looking forward to beginning work again in January. This first semester simply flew by and I know I missed so many opportunities. I am hoping the spring semester will be much different and I will make the most of what I have left with my students before their exams and graduation.

Babies, traveling, and students-- all things that will make a wonderful 2016-- even when life is real!

28||A Day in My Life

A day in the life. Take us through it with you.

I was going to be a good blogger and take little pictures throughout my day but that just didn't happen. Plus, one thing I really like about my schedule this year is that each of my days is just different enough from the others that I never get too bored with things. With that being said, here's what a typical use of time during my day.

6:05 a.m... The alarm goes off. I stumble around my apartment getting dressed, putting in my contacts, brushing my teeth, etc.

6:30 a.m.... I'm out the door for my 2 minute commute to work.

6:32 a.m.-3:00 p.m.... Teaching and students! We have a five day, rotating block schedule and I never have two days in a row that are exactly the same.

3:00-4:30 p.m... Either coaching or tutoring. I am working with the JV volleyball team this first season and I have an SAT tutoring student, so I am typically meeting with somebody during this time for one reason or another.

4:30-5:00 p.m.... Lay on my bed under the air con and relish the silence. No music, no talking. Just a book if I'm feeling really crazy.

5:00-9:00 p.m.... Supper, grad school, teacher prep, etc. I like to get out in the evenings and head to a coffee shop to work, but sometimes and evening in does the soul well too.

9:00 p.m.... Technology off and reading lamp out.

10:00+ p.m.... Reading and sleep. I have terrible sleep habits and have never fallen asleep easily but I am working to develop more healthy sleeping patterns. I read until I'm sleepy then turn the light out and hope for the best!

The 2015 Blog-Tember Challenge. Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4. Day 5. Day 6. Day 7. Day 8. Day 9. Day 10. Day 11. Day 12. Day 13. Day 14. Day 15. Day 16. Day 17. Day 18. Day 19. Day 20. Day 21. Day 22. Day 23. Day 24. Day 25. Day 26. Day 27. Day 28.

26||Currently Reading

What's on your to-read list, and what have you recently read? 

What a dangerously loaded question this is... I am an English teacher after all. In an effort to be completely transparent, I listed each book on my "active" reading list. Some of these books I definitely spend more active time on than others, but they are all one of the top of my priorities right now.

1/2/3/4/5/6/7/8/9

I am reading Crazy Love, the Harry Potter Series, and I Am Malala for personal pleasure. Rhetoric and Human Consciousness is my main grad school text for the semester although we also read quite a few articles in that class. I use Everything's an Argument, They Say I Say, and the MLA Handbook, along with an assortment of essays, in my AP class and Things Fall Apart is my current World Literature text. Total Truth is my current professional development reading.

I certainly don't read each of these books at an equal rate and some I certainly enjoy more than others.

I haven't really read anything else recently outside of Harry Potter and I probably won't have time for much else for awhile. I'm back in the throes of grad school which I am enjoying, but it doesn't leave time for much else. I am hoping to get my hands on Library of Souls soon as well as resurrect 2C Book Club for October which means I will be reading Frankenstein which was my own suggestion, so I looking forward to it extra!

As I said before, my book list will always exceed my time available, but that won't make me any less ambitious!

The 2015 Blog-Tember Challenge. Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4. Day 5. Day 6. Day 7. Day 8. Day 9. Day 10. Day 11. Day 12. Day 13. Day 14. Day 15. Day 16. Day 17. Day 18. Day 19. Day 20. Day 21. Day 22. Day 23. Day 24. Day 25. Day 26.

15||What's in My Bag?

What's in your bag? Pick up your purse and peruse its contents, then share with us!

When I lived in the States, I used to be able to live out of the back of my car. Now that I don't have a car, I can live out of my bag. I am embarrassed by the number of things I deem essential for my daily existence but such is life. I feel like my overpacking is compounded since I'm an English teacher... I am always dragging around books and papers which makes me look even more ridiculous and pretentious than necessary. Although my bag's actual daily contents change, this is a fairly typical variety of what I have on hand at any point in time.

(Clockwise, starting at R) Everything's an Argument. MLA Handbook for Writers of Research Papers. Sadlier Vocabulary Workshop, Level G Teacher's Edition. Franklin Planner. Ear buds. Umbrella. Hand sanitizer. Nalgene bottle. Daily vitamins. EOS chapstick. Sunglasses and case. Pencil and flash drive pouch. World Literature Folder. Wallet. AP Lang & Comp Folder. Packed bag.

The 2015 Blog-Tember Challenge. Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4. Day 5. Day 6. Day 7. Day 8. Day 9. Day 10. Day 11. Day 12. Day 13. Day 14. Day 15.

13||Tis the Season As They Say

Create a collage or inspiration/mood board for this season in your life.

mine/via/mine

I am living overseas, but life cannot stop until life goes "back to normal." 

I am not a teacher at an elite college prep high school, but I find my identity in so much more than my profession. 

I start graduate classes again in two days, but I am more than a graduate student.

I am a single, almost 30 Christian gal, but I refuse to be defined by my relationship status or my age.

In so many ways, my life has completely changed since moving to Thailand, but in so many ways, it is entirely the same. I don't have to work too hard to maintain an American lifestyle here in Asia and I find myself guilty of such all too often. I still feel like I am trying to figure out what it means to be a grown up, I still act like a kid much of the time, I still have my faith, I still have a job, and I don't anticipate any major events for awhile, so what, then, is my season of life?

I really don't mean to be difficult... I just find myself truly questioning what my current season is. I am in Thailand until something else comes along and, until then, I suppose I am in the most stable season of life I have been in for awhile. So, regardless of what this season may or may not be, I share three of my biggest focuses in life right now.

First, growing relationship with Christ. I am in a completely different place in life and faith and understanding than I ever anticipated for myself, even more so in the last ten months. I am a Christian in a predominantly non-Christian nation and I am literally equipping the next generation of world changers. I feel such a burden for my students, their families, this nation, our broken world. How do I continue to live out my faith in a way that glorifies God and makes Him known outside of the direction faith instruction so many of my students shirk?

Second, learning to live life. I am a perpetual planner. I enjoy lists and calendars and plans but I am learning to embrace change and spontaneity (ahem, moving to Thailand?!). Sometimes embracing life means just the little things at a moment in time but sometimes it means the big things. A student wants to meet for lunch on my busiest day of the week? Yes, because this may be the moment she really needs somebody to give her the time. Take a night bus to see a new Thai site? Let's do it! Stay in Thailand a possible five years to set myself up for financial success post-30? Five years may seem like a lot now, but as soon as my debt is eliminated, I know I will be grateful. Sometimes it's the big things and sometimes it's the little. But if not now, then when?

Finally, blooming where planted. I had a blog before this one and I called it "Bloom Where Planted." I have always struggled with living life where I am for the moment. I was ready to move to college at 16, ready to be done with college at 20, and ready to retire at 24. Well, not really retire, but the first four years of teaching where so tough. Additionally, the older I get, the more I come to understand just how broken, ugly, and painful the world is. I am ready for my heavenly home. But until that day comes, I will do my best to bloom where God has planted me much like that poppy made its home at the base of my parents' driveway in the sea of concrete.

All that to say, I don't really know what season of life I am in, but I'm going with what I have and making the most of what has been placed before me.

Soli deo Gloria.

The 2015 Blog-Tember Challenge. Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4. Day 5. Day 6. Day 7. Day 8. Day 9. Day 10. Day 11. Day 12. Day 13.

12||Currently...

What are you up to currently?

Reading... Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix by JK Rowling, I Am Malala by Malala Yousafzai and Christina Lamb, Crazy Love by Francis Chan, and assorted graduate material for my upcoming class on Monday!
Playing... catch up on grades. Story of my life.
Watching... NCIS. I'm looking forward to BBT and Grey's starting back up soon!
Trying... get caught up on laundry and get packed up for my pending move!
Cooking... roasted vegetables. I am (so very slowly) making the transition to the Paleo lifestyle and I'm currently eating assorted oven roasted vegetables like the are going out of style. Oven roasted garlic makes everything so much better!
Eating... too much sugar. I wish I were kidding but I have a serious sugar addiction that I need to break ASAP.
Drinking... kombucha. I've boarded the hippie train quite a bit in the last couple of years and I started making my own fizzy tea drink just a couple of weeks ago. My current batch is blueberry flavored and I enjoy my daily tea! And I'm also drinking coffee. Just always assume I am drinking coffee. And water. Lots of water. I just like to consume liquids, I guess.
Calling... nobody? I have a strong distaste for talking to people on the phone. I called my mom earlier this week as well as the apartment rental agent and that's twice as many phone calls as I usually make in a week.
Texting... Kelly. My sister. Amy. My mom. Anybody who will talk to me! As much as I dislike talking on the phone, I love me a good text session. If Kelly or I am awake, we are pretty much texting. One of the best purchases my parents ever made was the unlimited texting option for our family phone plan. I make sure to get my money's worth!
Pinning... Anything and everything. I have been pinning quite a bit of food, clothing, and travel. I love me some Pinterest!
Tweeting... Instagram? Does that count? I check Twitter multiple times each day, but it's mainly for news. I don't tweet much myself.
Going... somewhere for October break but still need to figure it out. Current frontrunners are Indonesia, Myanmar, and northern Thailand. Thoughts?
Loving... that I finally feel a little confidence in myself in regards to my job. I still have so much to learn and have so far to go, but I am finally, in my fifth year, rocking some clarity and understanding in my daily work.
Hating... mornings. And a new one comes each day. Can't we get a break on weekends or twice a month or something?!
Discovering... the joy that is life in Thailand. Last year I was so overwhelmed with a new country and its language, a brand new job, and trying to write a thesis proposal that I was not able to enjoy my new surroundings in the fall. This year, I feel so much more at peace and wonder with everything going on in life right now!
Thinking... about grad school starting again on Monday. I am excited to get back into the routine of classes and studying.
Feeling... excited for my Saturday dinner plans with some lovely girls from school and the potential of seeing a movie with my closest friend in Thailand!
Hoping (for)... a productive and rejuvenating weekend. I have so much to accomplish and get caught up on... The correcting never ends. #Whampwhamp
Listening (to)... Adele Radio on Pandora. Yay for friends who help me get Pandora overseas!
Celebrating... the potential of moving downtown in the very near future! Bring it #36!
Smelling... the many smells of BKK. Some are so good, some are so bad. As one friend put it during his visit in March, Bangkok is definitely a full-sensory experience. 
Ordering... Christmas presents! I formally began my Christmas shopping this week and it was so fun to start!
Thanking... God for this life I get to call mine. It's broken and imperfect but so much is still so beautiful and I wouldn't trade it for another one, even if I had the chance.
Considering... what my new budget is going to look like with my move. I'm definitely still living within my means, but my monthly expenditures are shifting and until they settle into a routine, I'll be thinking and wondering how things will actually shake down.
Starting... the C25K program for what feels like the 500th time. I really would like to do the BKK Color Run at the end of October, plus I just need to get myself back into shape.
Finishing... this blog post. Even though it was a lot of fun, it was also a lot more difficult than I expected and I am glad to finally be at the end.

What are YOU up to currently?

The 2015 Blog-Tember Challenge. Day 1. Day 2. Day 3. Day 4. Day 5. Day 6. Day 7. Day 8. Day 9. Day 10. Day 11. Day 12.