Little Did I Know...

I am eyeball-deep in disorganization, waist-deep in graduate school, knee-deep in documentation, and completely over my head in correcting and all I can manage to do is sit back and laugh at myself. My life is so ironic-- I don't know what to do with myself most days.

When I was little, I remember wishing I was smart enough to do something "important." I wanted to have the job that pushed me and pulled me in a million directions at once. I wanted the job that was fast paced and kept me busy. I wondered what it would be like to work 80 hours a week.

Oh don't worry... I don't wonder any longer.

Now I know.

I always imagined engineers or lawyers or bankers or doctors in such positions. Don't worry. I'm a teacher doing the very same thing right now. 

I should have seen it coming-- my dad worked the exact same hours when he was in education. And now I'm doing it myself. Even without coaching, I could easily work fifteen hours each day. I know that I am not the strongest teacher out there and I wish I had more constructive accountability. I don't like the number of days I feel like I just barely make it through because I ran out of time to do things well. But I also have to remember that this is only my third year so I can't expect to be perfect at this point in time. I have been trying to do a few things exceptionally well each day so that I don't have to go back and re-do them next year. But even that is a struggle all too often. I'm also building off some of what I did last year so that I'll be even stronger for next year.

In short, I feel wicked overwhelmed right now and I'm looking forward to the day I feel like I have a better grasp on things. However, today is definitely not that day.

And I doubt tomorrow will be either.