17:40

About two weeks go now, I skipped my evening workout class because it was so nice outside that I wanted to exercise some place other than indoors. And due to my crazy schedule up to that point, I hadn't gotten a run in since January 25. At least that's what my phone said. So I was looking at approximately eight weeks without having gotten in a formal run. And, as is often my usual, I waited until it was getting dark outside to actually get myself moving, so I was nervous about it getting too dark for me to stay outside. (I don't like being outside in the dark by myself in our town. I don't mind being out after dark in other places, but I'm just not comfortable in that environment in my current town.)

I started out from my driveway and got moving. And I lasted for three minutes. Three minutes. Uhh... I have 13.1 miles to run in two months (a couple of weeks ago yet...) and I knew I won't be getting it done in three minutes. I had decided before I set out that night I would follow the workout plan for C25K, Day 4-1. Now I realize that a half marathon (21.7K) is a lot longer than a 5K, but I've had success with the running/jogging intervals planned in the C25K program, so I stuck with it.

I'm not going to lie... It took a little bit to find my rhythm. I hit 15 minutes and was ready to head home because I was only a couple of blocks away. I made myself turn the other way and keep running, but then the descending sun really did get to me and I ended up turning back to go home.

My entire workout last night lasted 17 minutes and 40 seconds.

I was ticked.

I was whining and complaining and being all sorts of Debby Downer in my head as I thought about how short my workout was.

I got myself back on the running horse (or the dreamill- pretty much the same thing) this past Sunday with every intention of running three miles, not matter how long it took. I was pretty sure from the activity level I had been keeping that I would be able to make it three miles, albeit slow miles. Just kidding... I was able to run 0.66 miles before I had to stop. And my workout totaled 1.66 miles. I probably could have physically made it the entire three miles, but I was going so slowly that I was running out of time and I didn't want to be late for church.

Last night I wanted to go four miles, but I only made it 2.6 before I could feel my feet hotspotting and I wanted to avoid blisters. I was frustrated with myself physicall, yes, but I also made a poor choice in footwear. (My feet are clearly not in Vibram shape anymore.)

I wasn't so much ticked this time as I was frustrated. I have set this goal for myself and I have somebody else I've committed to join in this endeavor, and I haven't been disciplined enough to have my body in a place to be able to do it.

As frustrated as I am, though, my perspective has shifted. For this, I am so grateful! I can't think of one time in my life before that I would have been able to take two months off from running and then bust out 17 minutes and 40 seconds of interval work. I am not a natural runner. Last night I was able to run a solid mile (in approximately 10 minutes) and my overall distance increased a mile from just two days before!

I've come to the realization that I will not be running a PR in May. Right now my challenge is to myself- that I will finish my training plan in a strong manner and be in better shape come May 10. I really want to stop looking at only my failures but also remember to find the good. I'm running to form a lifelong habit of fitness and wellness- that's what I need to keep in mind!